Take On Me.....Please?

Hmm...I dont know what to say. I just kinda feel like spilling my guts out on paper...but then again, it is pretty late...I want to just say stuff...but i dont know how to put it. Something horrible is happening, yet since I understand it, its not making me sad. I really want to be sad, or more affectionate, or more close, but its just not happening. I kinda feel like im slipping away, but I dont want to exert the energy to bring myself back. I just dont feel like it right now...so i wont do it. I dont know, maybe thats not even it. I hate myself cause I dont know how to feel right now. I dont know what to do half the time, im sooo torn between my feelings that it makes me angry. Sometimes ill just go along with my life, but then there are times when I dont know what to do, or know, and dont want to do it. I hate this. I wanna move away where I will have no cares. I want to just get away from everything in this world, somewhere where I can just be myself, and not HAVE or NEED to do something. I am sick of this world and its stupid expectations. Eff those, I just wanna throw them back into life's face! Screw everything and its meaning, im out of here..........peace..........